Wood on Wood

Never got around to writing up our asskicking by the Norse last week, but here's the start of my write up and a screenshot that tells the story pretty well.

Well, this week's game vs. Elessar's Vikingurs was the HOTTEST's first loss of the season.  And it was a brutal drubbing.  It's a shame we are unable to rename our teams because clearly our Logo is no longer the hottest.... for what seems like the one hundreth time we lost the freakin' FAME roll even though we were evenly matched with the Vikingur at a Fan Factor of 7.   When are we ever gonna have the fans on our side like the good ol' days!?!!?!?  Also, and Coach Jackal has already begin litigation, the Wood Elves were forced to play on a WOODEN ship.  The game began with the Vikingur's failing the coin toss... about their only fail of the whole night.  The HOTTEST elected to kick off and from the very beginnig the those dirty beer bags started in our our Treeman like they needed firewood for the homeland winters.   Using Claw, their Yhetti knocked down Mighty Splinter, and, along with some other assists, their Dirty Player _____________  tried a few of his moves.   I dunno where the ref was, but he sure didn't seem to notice as this happened for a few turns before the Norse "hit squad" decided to disperse.   True to form, Mighty Splinter failed to stand up when given the chance.. .it's almost as if he enjoys the threats and curses from Coach Jackal.  Oddly enough, it was the HOTTEST that drew "first blood," well, first KO..  and that's when the Vikings decided to do more than just "river dance" on our Treeman.  Once the Treeman finally stood up, he was fairly useful... not wanting to "take root" in the dead planks of his brethren..... hey, maybe playing a wooden pitch is a good idea, ... the Treeman blitzed about the pitch... sadly he was unable to knock down the rival Yhetti, but his juggernaut saved him from a "both down."  He also learned how to use the grab skill, so that was nice.  The HOTTEST were playing pretty bold defense in the first half...  and a few game changing actions could have turned the tide of the game, but they were all sad disappointments....

if you can read the text I am outing my wood elf player that intentionally called attention to the ref as he made his foul, begging to be sent off the field.



Here is the this game's first half write up:

So, our two Wood Elf teams were a little mismatched.. my war torn and nurgle ravaged HOTTEST LOGO EVER2..  still reeling from their one game last year, where they spent their saving firing a niggled WD only to see the their healthy one die along with lots more carnage...

this game the HOTTEST are without two players, one of which is their Treeman


so, we go in buying not only a wizard, and not not only a wizard and a bribe, and not only a wiz, bribe, and merc,
but a wiz, bribe, merc and beer!!


the game is being played at Run, Forest, Run's stadium. but we  both have a FF of 5

for the first time in i dunno how long we win the freakin' FAME and have more fans than the other pointy ears!!

Forest wins the kickoff and Coach Gym-Bo elects to receive.

it's a beautiful day for blood bowl, yippee..  a blizzard would have dumbed this down to dorf town

Forest lines up with the WD on the l.o.s.  and only one player back.. yep, just one measely 5ag thrower named Bubba's Mom.

I wonder if coach gym knows that, unlike the WD, the throwers are supposedly men


Coach Jackal puts the kick safely in the middle of the field...

oh yea, in the set up, my loner that i hired was in teh endzone and I guess i'd forgotten that i'd hired him since he didn't appear to be available..

so, i set up my kickoff with the one player i didn't care if he died on the sideline... brilliant..

poor 0SPP DoorKnocker was a bit put out..  as well he should be since he would definitely be up against their grabby mcgrabberton treeman

TURN 1RUN
not much to report about Forests' first turn...  three pushes on the front line, poor DoorKnocker being grabbed to the side of the Treeman

then his 5ag Throwere doinks the pick up, and the RR, turn over... a audible gasp of elven shock  is heard from both sides of the stadium

TURN I HOT

second block  attempted in the game resulted in a BOTH DOWN by Ginmince which, of course,  burned our first RR, but thankfully was remedied by the RR..

after a knock down by a WD we tried our first foul of the game, with two assists, which didn't even warrant a stun

Coach Jackal orders DoorKnocker to dodge his ass away from the tree and, while he was at it, to head for the ball... with a heroic no RR effort, DoorKnocker made it.. his tackle zone covering the ball.

TURN 2 RUN
Gym sends a player to mark the happless, no skill  0 SPP DoorKnocker.. stands up the player we failed to foul... but then his ag5thrower.. successfully picks up the ball, but fails the dodge out... turn over

TURN 2 HOT
Jackal can SEE the ball just laying there..  not even guarded by anyone.. just lil' ol' no skilled DoorKnocker who needs a dodge out, and a pick up to score

HOTTEST still have 2 RR, so Jackal decides to at least use his WD to try to take out a thrower.. bad idea.. DOUBLE SKULLS AGAIN

RR saves

NOW the pressure is really on DoorKnocker... but he does it , dodges out, picks up the ball and runs into the endzone


woot woot THE HOTTEST LOGO EVER2 SCORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE



as the Hottest are trying to set up for the second kickoff there is a problem finding the catcher who Jackal wants to leave off the pitch

by the time the problem is remedied.. the dang loner has taken the catcher's position on the L.O.S. and poor DoorKnocker who has just scored is STILL in the middle of the field.. destined to face their treeman again.

and the HOTTEST lined up a with a sideline open.. a weakness Gym would exploit


TURN 3 RUN

this time the stud thrower picked up the ball and got it to their bad ass WarDancer, Forest's Mama,  she sprints down the open sideline and her teammates lineup for interference.. including pushing back a WD for the HOTTEST..which will make it much harder to get to Forest's Mama

TURN 3 HOT

well, Jackal was tempted to start out with the wizard, but thought he'd at least clear a path.. but, alas, again with the double skulls, saved by the final RR, he was up against it

he moved who he could and, without a RR to his name, yep, three in three turns.... he leapt and dodged his stripper WD into a one dice block against Forests' Mama... it was old against it new and it ended in a stalemate headbut

another temptation to hit the shiny red wizard button.. but, decided to move some other players first

doorknocker tried to dodge out of the Treeman's grabby grasp, and knocked himself out in the process

turn over

TURN 4 RUN

Coach GymBo moved some players around.. using his +1ST Mighty Blow Elvis to knock over the WD who was marking the ball carrier..  she went down like a sack of potatoes .. or a girl who had only heard Elvis hearing the Beatles for the first time

Run's players banged around some more of the Hottest's players, but ultimately, with one WD not stunned, one standing and a few other players within reach.. not to mention the Wizard..  Coach GymBo ordered his bad ass WarDancer to Score


kickoff

TURN 4 HOT
quicksnap.. not a whole lot of relevance in the HOTTEST''s setup, but way better than blitz

we still had four turns to score  and it was our turn to hit and hurt first

unfortunately, it was a short kick to the.. hahahha kicker, Torwin.. who, nuffle bless him, at least had the wherewithall to CATCH it


so, a WD knocks down Run's player Tex.. the HOTTEST take a risk and, with no RR remember, have Torwin pass the ball back to the their catcher.. the pass is complete

The catcher, B. Biletnifkoff takes his coach's orders and sprints deep into the HOTTEST's backfield

HOTTEST try another foul on the the taken down Tex.. but, with three assists, only stun him


a little more but kicking and at least we have held the line...  sure it's 1-1 but we are happy as hell...

happy to sit on the ball and stay away from the tree.. but maybe we'll go for a score..

coach jackal IS on his second beer


 TURN 5 RUN

Run sent both WD past midfield...   one had a chance to beat up on the HOTTEST's thrower but, after getting a push, decided to save the two RR


TURN 5 HOT

well, they started it with a hope of fouling an elf off the field .. but nada.. but as GymBo  pointed out it was nada for the ref as well

he must have been thinking.. awwwwwww. they've got those bottles and sharp, shiny things.. he must've been thinking: they are gonna do his nails...

no harm no foul..

he's where i have to say that Coach Jackal grew a pair.. with his helpless catcher deep in his own backfield..  and two oppo WarDancers in range...

Jackal made some difficult blocks... any more double skulls would have left the catcher over the barrel...

instead, it all worked out . the catcher sprinted through the open middle and made the pass to the blocked out  WarDancer Ohtear Mark III ...

from there it was a matter of sprinting

WarDancers do that well...  and the RUN's Wardancers were deep in the HOTTEST's backfield, and Jackal sent sent some other HOTTEST's players to run interference

TURN 6 RUN

not a lot to report other than their thrower failed a gfi and then *another* RR.. which is what is crueler...

Lt. Dan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


TURN 6 HOT

well, we had the space.. so Ohter Mark III ran to the goal line.. loving his side step...

the other Dancer knocked down the other closest threat

both threat are stunned.. the foul they tried.. did no more damage...

TURN 7 RUN

the elves make some threats, but even both WD's have a lot of space to make up

TURN 7 HOT

here is where it get's tough.. HOTTEST have no more RR. so one double skull could end it all, but they had the sack to try a two try surf

they pushed the victim closer... then sent a freed up player down the line for a foul.. BANG..

then, here comes the surf push..   dang.. the fans hug and kiss him

tried a blitz WD on WD and had no joy..........  decided to go ahead and put the ball in the box...  those RUN WD's are skeery


run it in

score 2-1  and we still got us a wizard


set up


I swear i didn't notice this:  but here's what the GAME was telling us (HOT have 12 players on the pitch)

TURN 8 RUN

not much to say..  thrower keeps the ball safe and passes it


TURN 8 HOT

sure, there were no RR, but they left their players all kinds of open..  let's see how good Coach Jackal could be to get lots of two dice blocks and ultimately a bang town foul

we tried to take down a lino with a big WD blitz  but he stood strong

so, we had to take a foul chance on Elvis.. a lino but he had Mighty Blow and +1St so he would look much better in the injury box or at least KO'd


only a stun.. which meant nothing


first have over.