HALF TIME
Half time starts with only one injury ... a DOUBLE-E catcher... everyone else is healthy and ready to rock and roll
HOTTEST are getting the ball this half.. that bumbling NoneYa will not be in the backfield this time, and it sure will be nice to have a full compliment of RR's.
Slams 'Zons set up first. I believe he called this setup three too many Mind Numb-ers....
HOTTEST set up fairly even.. preparing for any kind of terror.. like a Pitch Invasion (Slam has the FAME) or even the ever dreaded blitz.
The kick is up... it's fairly shallow, just off the l.o.s. of the HOTTEST's right flank! HOTTEST starts a step sooner than the Zons.. getting Quick Snap. Would you look at that, NoneYa's got a chance to redeem himself! He moves under the ball!!
HE CATCHES IT!!
LOOK AT SILLY NONEYA HUGGING THE BALL. YOU DON'T GET SPP FOR CATCHING, DUMMY
TURN 9 HOTTEST
Not sure what Jackal was thinking in the start of this turn. His first Wardancer block was a push, but instead of going with his next WD or his other blocker, he let bumbling NoneYa try to skill up with a quick pass to the Woodie catcher.. hurrah!! that worked!! Then he went with the freakin' TREE...
guess who took root on the first freakin turn of the second half.. THE TREEMAN... By this point Jackal isn't angry.. It may have been here or later on when Jackal confessed to Slam that he was happy this wasn't a TT game so Slam couldn't see him weeping.
Fortunately, the tree did at least knock down his prey, but stupidly grabbed him and pulled him behind him, on to the HOTTEST's side of pitch. After knocking down the third 'Zon lino, none of whom were even stunned, the catch ran the ball all the way back to the thrower and handed him the ball. Whew, no failure there either. Finally, Jackal orders Nimgros, an elf with only the skill of dodge to attempt a foul on the downed blodge lino, Sandy Fagina... while the foul is successful, OF COURSE the ref catches Nimgros....
all in all, probably not a bad trade off. Not a terrible turn in the end, if you don't factor in the the freakin' Treeman taking root. Should the Mighty Splinter somehow live to play another game, Jackal may consider not starting him in the second half against non-bashy teams at least.. but all the arrows point to bonfire night....
TURN 9 DOUBLE-E
Dixe Normous is still trying to get her freakin' tackle on.. She blitzes targeting one of the HOTTEST's WD, Ohtear... she even tries a RR after getting a push/attacker down, but Ohtear survives with both down/both down and it's a block fest. Not much more the DOUBLE-E's can do this turn, but advance. This picture is taken after HOTTEST have moved two players.... one of which had to mark Miso Honei... who was the lino foolished pulled by the Mighty Ruler Factory behind him.. still Miso needed some sweet dodges to get to where she was. But she did it.
TURN 10 HOTTEST
Jackal panics after seeing Mso Honei dodge deep into his backfield (that sounded dirty) .. so he orders the Thrower to head to deep center field and puts a marker on either side of her, flanking deep. Vierwrath blitzes up the center toward Pussy Galore, getting push/push.. so Jackal calls for the magic RR, and knocks her to the ptich but does not injure or stun her in spite of V's newly acquired Mighty Blow skill. After putting her nemisis on her back, V. runs deep into the DOUBLE-E's backfield.
Next the other HOTTEST WD, Ohtear, tries to leap out and dodge away, but fails.. foolishly not making herself aware of where the tackler is, so that she can't use her dodge skill. KNOCKING HER DAMN SELF OUT.. END OF TURN. That could have been avoided. Brain Fart: Jackal.
TURN 10DOUBLE-E
Sorry for the weak report of this turrn.. too much going on and it's too far in to even think about restarting the game. Suffice to say that the DOUBLE-E's brought the kitchen sink. Jackal was thinking if he could get the ball to his catcher, who has leap he could get things going.. using the Wood Elf speed ... but the dreaded thrower/tackler Plenty O'Tool at the very last second, with Jackal hoping the catcher had been spared.. whacks the catcher to the ground.
TURN 11 HOTTEST
Jackal knows he's in a real pickle... in fact he's in the final minute before he's done anything other than stand the poor catcher up next to TWO tacklers... at the last minute, the runs down the left flank.. going for it to get within a 4+ for the pass to the deep WD, Vierwrath. Jackal had considered having V. block the catcher off him, but all in all it wouldn't have mattered since the thrower rolled a 2 for the first attempt.. an inaccurate pass.... Jackal elected to "roll the dice" (see what i did there) and take the pass RR instead of just going with an inaccurate pass. Tough call.. because it could bounce to the DOUBLE-E catcher who has catch, duh, but also nerves of steel. and second, unless it bounced to V. the turn would be over. The catcher had already had two attempts at an INT with Nerves of Steel. It was a 3+ pass...just get the ball to the WD... but the Thrower shat his britches... rolling a freaking ONE.
TURN 11DOUBLE-E
Holly Goodhead starts by stunning Sorntor. Dixie Normous follows suit, stunning the Woodie Catcher... Jackal can been heard weeping by the neighbors and he lives in a house, not an apartment. Miso Honei adds to the pile of Wood Elves in the middle of the pitch by stunning Noneya.
Plenty O'Tool goes after the Wood Elf with sure hands, a wise choice, but is only able to push him. She then moves over to put herself within reach of the ball. Fook Yu Too pushes off Dehandar. This is where Coach Slam decided to bring out the dagger. Using Uni Brau with her ag of 5, he orders her dodge over to the ball, hold on to your hats, sports fans!!
she dodges successfully, she goes for it successfully
she gets the ball in the tackle zone of the HOTTEST's dumbfounded Thrower, although it cost her the RR
DODGES BACK OUT
ALL SHE HAS TO DO NOW IS HANDOFF TO AN UNMOVED PLAYER THAT'S NOT IN A TACKLE ZONE FOR A SWEET SCORE!1
BOINK.... wow. just wow. I mean, Jackal would have done the same thing, maybe, but then that guy blitzes with 1MA Treeman.
turn over
TURN 12 HOTTEST
Jackal cannot believe his luck, he just got spared a sure loss. There is still hope for a tie... That is exactly what Nuffle, oh cruel, cruel Nuffle loves to hear... coaches holding out hope. He knows it time to go for broke himself.. he dodges out Ohtear.. she makes the dodge for a one dice block, she's got to clear the 'Zon blodger off the ball.
check out her mooning Plenty O'Tool as she leaves her tackle zone
it's a one dice block.. AH OH... ATTACKER DOWN...
RE ROLL .. SHE NEEDS A PUSH.. GET GETS THE POW, DEFENDER DOWN!! The ball is free, but there is no more RR now. Still, her mission was accomplished.. there is still hope
Now it's up to Ethedon, the Sure Handed Kick off return specialist to pick up the ball, but wait.. Jackal orders Vierwrath to block the catcher that's guarding him... to give him more space for the catch.
V succeeds!!
now the sure handed Ethedon picks up the ball, with the help of his Sure Hand skill, and attempts the hand off to the Thrower, Ballgaliel.. who IS in a enemy tackle zone...
IT'S A SUCCESS!! NOW THE THROWER HAS TO DODGE OUT AND GET THE BALL TO THE OPEN WD Vierwrath..
DONE DONE AND DONE!! THE HOTTEST HAVE THE BALL WITHIN SCORING DISTANCE IN THE HANDS OF THEIR NUMBER ONE PLAYER.... THE FANS ARE HOWLING WILD.
Ginmice dodges out to cover Dixe Normous... but sadly
Dehandar is unable to follow suit and, to make matters worse, Knocks His Damn Self OUT... Yuck.
TURN 12DOUBLE-E
Well, that was a damn fine turn around by Jackal, but Vierwrath was by no means out of the wood yet.. heh heh heh. First order from Coach Slam is to send Pussy Galore down to mark the Wood Elf thrower. Positive thinking. Then he sends Miso Honei as far as she can travel, but not near enough to be a threat this turn. Both Coaches are thinking the same thing: if the War Dancer can keep her feel, she's got a good chance of leaping out for the game tying score. Next the catcher, Honey Rider moves in to mark Vierwrath, now providing an assist to whoever Slam orders in for this most important block of the game!! For any fans not sure why he chose Holly Goodhead, a blitzer with Mighty Blow, but not Dixie Normous who has tackle is because Dixie only has a movement of 5, plus she would have had to make one more dodge...
HERE COMES HOLLY.. CHARGING THE WARDANCER...
RESULT: DEFENDER STUMBLES/PUSHED
RE-ROLL
DEFENDER STUMBLES... DEFENDER DOWN!!!!! HOLLY GETS THE JOB DONE, **AND** STUNS THE WARDANCER.. KEEPING HER OUT OF COMMISION.... SO THE MIGHTY BLOW COMES IN HANDY
Now Jackal's howling and weeping is being heard in the entire city.
TURN 13 TURN HOTTEST
It doesn't look like a bush, it looks like a FOREST of Amazons between any HOTTEST players and the ball.
Jackal sends what few forces he can must to mark as many 'Zons as he can, then dodges out Ohtear on a blitz toward her nemisis: Plenty O'Tool...
LOOK AT HER GO
Ohtear gets her man, I mean woman, without needing a RR!! But what now?
The catcher.. Jackal ace in the hole.. it ain't gonna be easy, but he can just pick up the ball it would help enormously..
Biletnikoff stands up, dodges out, succeeds in her leap, dodge TWICE more.. succeeds in the gfi... all he needs now is a pick up...
Rolls one ... ReRolls... Rolls another one.
Snake Eyes.
People in neighboring states can hear Jackal weeping.
TURN 13DOUBLE-E
Well, now the DOUBLE-E''s have the ball surrounded... only the catcher around to stop their advance... shouldn't be a problem. Moves a player next to ball, to guard it and also to put an assist on the Wood Elf Catcher. Then Blitzes his +1ST Girl, Felicity Shagwell, who can only get a defender stumbles.. allowing the dodging catcher to stay on his feet, but pushed into Mighty Blower Holly Goodhead, who just stunned a War Dancer last turn.
HOLY CRAP... ATTACKER DOWN/ATTACKER DOWN!!!!
But Goodhead recovers, using the RR, she is able to push the Catcher away from the ball.
NEXT UP: PUSSY GALORE... not one to dissappoint really lays one on the Wood Elf Thrower...
check out this first pic... looks like some kind of RAPE
and she rung the thrower's bell.. Chooo Choooo.. All aboard the train to KO town Choo Chooo
Slam brings Uni Brau downfield, and with a successful GFI with no RR, puts a fourth TZ on the ball.. or will he go for it again and try the pick up. Nope she holds the line. Then Miso Honei dodges out too... ten titties, five tackle zones on the exposed ball. Just Brutal.
TURN 14 HOTTEST
Jackal has to know that THE END OF THE MATCH IS EMINENT.. because the game just told him, but he also has to realize he's running out of options, and without any RR left, it's gonna be even more difficult.
His best hope is to tie up the 'Zons and take them to his basement... IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN!!
wait, no, his best hope is to tie up the 'Zons with smart marking and then maybe use the catcher to leap in and dodge out.. aint gonna be easy.
Vierwrath jumps up with a blitz, but is only able to come away with both down.. so it's a head butt of block vs. block
So, initiate Launch mode for the Woody Catcher
Not sure where the hell the pick up was in that disaster... but it didn't matter much since Biletnikoff failed the dodge anyway...Looks like they broke her freakin' back. Fortunately, she is just KO'd ... TURN OVER.
TURN 14DOUBLE-E
You can here the girls tittering with laughter as another Wood Elf is Knocked Out.... Women are cruel.
Holly Goodhead aims her sights on Ethedon.. an Elf without dodge or block... easy prey. Bang! Ethedon goes down, stunned.
Felicty Shagwell pushed Ohtear off the ball. Using Fook Mi's guard, Dixie Normous gets two dice on Ginmice, but is only able to get a push.. but that allows Dixie to add her assist to Fook Mi, who gets a both down, but alas, NoneYa has no block, so down he goes.
Then, Jackal's greatest fear.. Uni Brua steps in and picks up the ball and gets the sweet handoff to the catcher, Honey Rider.
The 'Zons might be fit and lean, but Jackal is hearing a Fat Lady singing somewhere ... and she's yelling at him to quit crying so loud.
Honey runs to mid field next to two of her teammate... only two spaces or so from the Fierce Treeman.. Not to be rude, but we have learned that a tree can stick it's thumb up it's ass. Cause that's all he's done since the first turn of the second half.
TURN 15 HOTTEST
In a brave move of desperation.. Jackal dodges a skill-lesss (no dodge) NoneYa out to put a TZ on Honey Rider. I think a terrible idea is about to happen here.. I wonder if the tree has anything to do with this, but Jackal is about to go with a WarDancer that has to perform some serious stuff instead of blitzing with Ginmice who has Wrestle.. but is totally concealed by the damn Treeman
I guess the mindset of Jackal is that if the WarDancer, Vierwrath, can knock the ballcarrier down, maybe Ginmice can get the ball and make a pass to the other WarDancer... I really don't remember... mainly because all i remember is this:
V. succeeds with the Leap, and then with the dodge.. sadly.. he then rolls the equivalent of snake eyes in Crap... yep.. DOUBLE SKULLS...
TURN OVER... MORE WEEPING...
TURN 15DOUBLE-E
Not a lot of threat here now, more like a race to the endzone from a team with a little more speed... but quite depleted...
first player is Miso Honei who takes advantage of the happless NoneYo who has no skills to with which to defend himself and Miso puts him on the ground, not stunned but in the dirtl
Pussy Galore KO's Sorntor.. and Plenty O'Tool uses tackle to take down the WarDancer, Ohtear...
Holly hurdles toward the goal line, making both gfi to get out of distance from her pursuers...
TURN 16HOTTEST
Jackal's thought process here is a little defeatist... but he's thinking: what's the difference between losing by one or two.. might as well as try to get some SPP... esp because he knows his players would totally fail the dodges or GFI it would take to even try to prevent another score.
let's see how it goes:
Ginmice decides to risk a dodge out in order to try either to take down his opponent, or at least push him toward the Treeman.. Ginmice is a friend of Mighty Splinter doesn't want Jackal to get rid of himl
funny because Ginmice succeeds in KOing Fook You Too.. so SUCK IT TREE, BWAH AHHAHAHAA
TURN 16DOUBLE-E
Not much to say or do here,,, just score baby....
good game, Slam... it was fun! Well, except for the cruelty part of evil dicing from Nuffle. Congrats on your house too!!
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